It’s 11:30 pm and I need raw cookie dough like I need air in my lungs.
I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna drive to Wal-Mart at midnight in my pajamas and buy a roll of cookie dough because I’m an adult with my own money who gets to make his own decisions.
I am so, so proud of you.
When kids ask me what its like to be an adult, I will show them this post. Thank you.
1 week ago · 128,923 notes
If you have suffered a tragedy and someone says, “you’re in my prayers” with sincerity, and you respond with some egotistical shit about being atheist you are an emotionally inept moron.
For real though, like think about it. If someone is religious, there’s really no kinder sentiment they can express than appealing to the highest power they know for your recovery. Whether or not you think it “works” is irrelevant— the kindness is absolutely real.
1 week ago · 263,657 notes